(photo by Photography By Joyelle)
When Chloe was 3, almost 4, I started to really question what my future held-as far as dating was concerned. I had only really been on one date in the previous 4 years-okay 1 and 1/10 of a date -1/10 because we left and were heading to a theater and I knew it was a waste of my time (freaked out a little) and asked to be taken back to my car. I earned myself the title of "Black Widow" from all my friends after that, thanks to that moment and turning down a number of other guys.
I began praying harder for clarity and peace. I soon knew that God wanted me to rely on him and put my hope in him and not a husband. I prayed that I just wanted to know there was a man for me, not who or when, just that one day it would happen. Immediately God showed me Bobby (ahem, Robert), to which I nearly doubled over in laughter and said "haha funny joke God-I hate that guy!"
Back story-two years prior I had taken on a few shifts at the Starbucks he worked at. The store was disgusting! Filthy! When I got there I was assigned ALL of the daily duties, you know the ones normally split between 10 people to be done over the course of 18 hours. All of them. Bobby didn't do this, but he came into his shift halfway through my cleaning spree, and leaned on the counter while I was on my knees scrubbing mildew. He sat there talking and doing not much of anything, then looked at me and laughed. He said, "you don't even work at this store and you are the only one cleaning!" That one comment infuriated me more than I can explain. I'm normally pretty easy going, but that made my blood boil! Occasionally he would come into my store for a drink and after he left I would tell everyone what and arrogant jerk he was (sorry hunny!). I saw him in church a few times and decided to be friendly and say hi, he blew me off-twice. Once even asking, "who are you?"
Alright back to my story; I get asked, "how did God show you it was Bobby?" after this frequently. Well it was a moment I can't quite put into words, but I will try. I was in church when I was praying this and Bobby was sitting 3 rows in front of me, there were other people between us and the room went dark, everyone disappeared and a glowing light came down on Bobby and I just "knew". Only there was more to it-way more in the months that followed, you will just have to trust me on this. If you have had spiritual experiences you understand that it cant be put into words, there are colors and emotions that don't even have names. So after I picked myself up from laughing at God, I felt a complete peace and went on to stop even hoping to find "the one" instead I focused on my relationship with God. A few months went by and I forgot about it(don't ask how I could forget that, I think it was intentional) . He was coming into my store more and more frequently to study. Eventually we started talking. I would go out on my breaks and vent to him since he understood what was going on in the store. Then my breaks started getting longer, by accident... One day he asked for my number as I was heading back to work. I said, "no" laughed and walked off-in my Black Widow style. A few days later we were talking again and he reached over and stole my phone and called his own. Effectively stealing my phone number. We would talk on the phone for hours, text a million times, then fall asleep for an hour or 2 before heading back to our 5am shifts. During that time we both began having dreams about each other and about each others pasts and futures. Things that only God could have shown us. In the morning we would call each other and ask about what we had dreamed only to find out it was something that had happened to them or in their past. There was so much going on spiritually between us even though we were not "dating" by the modern term of the word. The day we talked about dating we agreed, we were not going to "date" just to date, we were going to be married. I bought my dress and had the church booked before I even got my ring! Less than 5 months later we were married! I was in love then, and now, now I am so in love, I am addicted, I am bound and completely connect. He is my other half.
Have times always been easy? No. People who say that are lying or were just married yesterday. Love is continuing the action of care and affection even when your feelings are not in line. Love is a commitment to the other. Stress will come, sleepless nights will come, life will happen, hormones change. Love is honoring the commitment you made at the alter, even if you do not want to, because that life that happened, or stress that came, it will leave, it will change again. For better or worse, from better to worse and back from worse to better again.